how to overcome your quarter life crisis (with pictures)

1. get a crazy haircut (the shorter the better)
2. regret the haircut
3. google if you’re having a quarter life crisis
4. you are
5. ask a friend if they’re having a quarter life crisis
6. they are
7. make a pros and cons list of your life
8. lose the pros and cons list
9. identify what you actually want
10. sit with the fact that you don’t know what you want
11. spend your net worth on a cabinet
12. call your parents (don’t mention the cabinet)
13. don’t take their advice
14. compare yourself to your peers
15. stop comparing yourself to your peers
16. repeat steps 13 and 14 indefinitely
17. make a five year plan
18. revise the five year plan
19. abandon the five year plan
20. ugly cry at home, ugly cry in the subway, ugly cry in the green bathroom stall of your favorite thai restaurant
21. watch your friends leave the city
22. make new friends
23. watch them leave too
24. get a haircut
25. repeat steps 2 through 25